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[30 Apr 2008|07:45pm] |
I think shaving my head was a mistake. I just did it cause I was bored. But ever since then, when I go places, people have been much less friendly than they normally are. Even people I know and talk to almost daily. I don't think they realize it. Today it was kind of cold so I wore a beanie which covered my head and people were nice again.
I really want my hair back.
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[29 Apr 2008|05:49pm] |
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If computer programming and logical problem solving skills were sexually attractive traits, I'd be bored with pussy. Just sayin'.
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[29 Apr 2008|12:13am] |
I didn't do my calculus homework tonight, but I did do
( this )
For the first time in my life, I wish I could draw worth a damn. I don't give a shit, this penguin rules and I'm going to chronicle his antics and epic chill sessions.
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[28 Apr 2008|01:06am] |
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mood |
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Chillin the fuck out |
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music |
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INXS - New Sensation |
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Hmm yes, it's one AM, I should be asleep, but I've spent a full hour creating this image here.
My original plan was to make it into a sign that I would put on my bedroom door, but my room does not at all resemble a chill zone, so instead, I will take Esther's advice and put it on a T-shirt which I will wear nearly every day.
No, no, I'm not wasting my time. This fuckin' rules.
His name is Top 'Guin and he knows what's up.
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[27 Apr 2008|07:53pm] |
I've decided I don't need friends. I only need drugs. I'm gettin' some mescaline and a medical marijuana license. Legal weed delivered to my door, yes. California rules.
The heat his affecting me in the brain area, making me think crazy thoughts. It's pretty fun.
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[25 Apr 2008|08:37pm] |
In January, I was all "I need to get a job right now or I'm fuuuuucked!"
I still haven't gotten one. It's April and I have nearly 4 grand in the bank. I can live off that for like 4 more months. It's funny how stuff works out. Should still get a job, though.
I haven't had a soda in years. I'm not sure how many, but 2005 at the latest was my last one.
Now I just got a craving for a sprite. I didn't even like sprite when I drank soda. I don't know what the fuck. I'm only posting to avoid finishing my c++ work. Don't know why I'm avoiding it, either. It's really easy. Putting off doing my homework until the Friday night that it is due and then spending that Friday night writing code is exactly what I said I was not going to do this week. I suck.
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[25 Apr 2008|12:17am] |
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I just realized that I'm in the best shape of my life. I mean I've been exercising regularly for a while now, but the fact that it was actually benefiting me somehow eluded me. I'm pretty stoked about this.
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| Welcome to Cat Talk, with your host Barrios |
[24 Apr 2008|03:21am] |
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Remember when I couldn't sleep at night? It's happening again.
It doesn't help that my brother's cat insists on sleeping in my bed, and if I kick him out of the room, he bangs on the door until I let him back in. This cat is a snuggler. He's always curled up right against me, which is annoying when I'm rolling around every 10 minutes. I miss my cat back home. She would sleep in my bed while I was awake, but as soon as I wanted to sleep, she would get up and move to a chair so I could have the bed to myself. What a nice kitty.
One of the things I like about cats is they're supposed to be independent and not so needy. I can't get rid of this fucker, though. He's been my brother's cat for 10 years; I don't know why he's suddenly all clingy with me. Ever since we moved to the new place, my brother has been annoyed because he'll go three days without seeing his cat. Meanwhile I can't even go to the bathroom without him trying to follow me in. (The cat, not my brother. What kind of family do you think this is?)
I said a while ago that I wish I could attract girls the way I attract cats, but if I had a girl like this, it would get old really fast. I need my time alone or I get cranky.
I also tend to write at length about the stupidest shit when I can't sleep. Apologies.
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[22 Apr 2008|11:04pm] |
Since I'm applying for jobs which will require some sort of background check, I put my name into google to see if any dirt comes up. It occurred to me that I probably shouldn't be so open about some of the stuff I do on public pages on the Internet.
Anyway, who the fuck is this?
Since I'm so egotistical, I hope it's really about me and not somebody else with my name. There are apparently a few others out there, but who knows. I don't know who I was pissing off in '05. Probably nobody. It's probably about somebody else. There's no activity, anyway. I just thought it was interesting and kind of funny.
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[22 Apr 2008|08:36am] |
I had planned to get up early this morning and go jogging before going to class since I know from the last two weeks that when I get home, I will be too tired lazy to do it. So just before I woke up, I had a dream that I woke up to find military men all over the streets with roadblocks set up. Great. I'm not jogging now. They were forcing people out of their homes and searching them. I figured I was fucked. I don't have any weapons or drugs, but I do have drug paraphernalia, which I'm sure they would not have appreciated.
Then I woke up for real and went jogging and was thankful for it. I finally don't feel like the fucking lard ass I've felt like for the last couple weeks.
I wonder if my crazy episode yesterday wasn't some kind of mini-stroke. I hope not. I'm certainly not going to do anything to find out. I don't have any money; I can't afford health problems. I really don't think that's what it was, but the possibility struck me last night and kept me up for a couple hours. Well, if I die soon, let me just say now that it's been fun, peace.
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[21 Apr 2008|07:56pm] |
I've been looking forward to tonight's meteor shower for two weeks, even though it's a full moon. I still expected to see a few meteors. We had clear weather here all month up until a few hours ago when out of fucking nowhere (Well, the pacific ocean if you must) clouds came in and blanketed the sky. Now I won't see shit.
Fuck clouds.
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[21 Apr 2008|01:48pm] |
Sitting in my Calculus class today, everything was normal. She was drawing shit on the board and I was figuring out where she was going 3 minutes before she got there. I figured out a kind of complex formula in my head and 2 minutes later, she wrote it on the board and I was right. I was just like "Yeah, super genius over here, fuck."
Next thing I knew, the clock said it was 15 minutes later, and she was writing shit from last week on the board and none of it made sense. I seriously didn't know what was going on. My head was swimming and my body was telling me to get up and do something. I sat it out and after class went to the library to work on some homework, but I couldn't get anything to work right, so I took a walk. I saw a girl I know so I talked to her for a bit, but every couple sentences she said just sounded like nonsense. I seriously thought I was going crazy, so I excused myself and found a quiet corner to just sit and breathe in for a while. It took about 30 minutes, but I was able to ground myself and return to a normal state, but that was really fucking weird. Actually, my brain got back to normal, but my body's still a little fucked up.
It's been months since I've done any drugs, and everything about today up until I went crazy was normal, so I don't know.
Then on the bus, a girl with Down syndrome told me I was hot because I look like Ringo Starr.
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[20 Apr 2008|03:46pm] |
Hi, just checking in to say that drugs are terrible and anybody who has ever smoked weed is a pathetic loser who will never do anything more worthwhile than keep the local taco bell in business with his parents' money.
Check this out
L
A
T
E
R
S
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[18 Apr 2008|09:09pm] |
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I wish I could attract women the way I attract cats. I saw this cute girl walking on the sidewalk across the street from me so I knelt down, twiddled my fingers and made a clicking noise at her. She just ignored me, though.
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[17 Apr 2008|09:26pm] |
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I successfully changed my first set of spark plugs today. Funny, I don't feel any manlier.
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[16 Apr 2008|10:30pm] |
I had a dream that I was driving around in the dark without my lights on and I got lost so I parked the car and then I just started vomiting. It was a lot of vomit. Like probably five gallons worth with a couple whole loaves of bread and some whole pieces of fruit in it.
In another dream, I was at my old elementary school and I was running for some reason. I looked behind me and saw a girl running at me with an axe. That scared me, but I was already running as fast as I could and she caught up to me pretty fast. She said "Catch me." I knew that she planned to jump up about 20 feet into the air and wanted me to catch her. I said "I don't think I can."
"Just do it."
"I might drop you."
"Fine."
We both stopped running and my bus came. We both got on it and I noticed that I had lost my back pack. A dude got on the bus and I heard him say "I found William Shatner's backpack!" I looked and saw that it was mine. I asked him to give it back to me, but he refused so I started hitting him in the face. That's when I woke up and was just all "what the fuck?" for a few minutes and then had breakfast.
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[12 Apr 2008|10:50pm] |
I walked downtown, where all the bars are. Bars are not my turf. It is difficult for one with my personality to feel comfortable and to do well going to bars by himself. I have this need to converse with somebody. Anybody, really. If I had the time and the languages necessary, I would like to have a conversation with every person on earth. I could not manage one tonight. I had some starters. All women. Once they realized that either a) I wasn't looking for sex or b) I was not a person from whom they wanted sex, the conversation ended. Maybe I should start having sex again? It's still early; maybe I should venture out there again. But it's a 20 minute walk out there and then a 20 minute walk back here, and I don't have much money to spend. I really shouldn't be spending any. I crave human interaction for the first time since I've been here. I'm just really crap at meeting people. I don't initiate anything. I sit and wait for somebody to approach me. I am looking forward to my friend moving up here next month, as he is the type of guy who can go out and meet tons of people any night and simply by hanging out with him, I will meet those same people.
Really, you assholes. I have interesting things to say and I am actually more interested in what you have to say than I am in your genitals. So why the fuck can't I talk to you people?
I'll figure this out.
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[12 Apr 2008|03:03pm] |
I finally was able to borrow a truck and move all of my shit to the new place. It took all of 3 hours to pack everything I own and move it here. We've spent about 3 days moving my brother's shit and it's still not done. I've always been a minimalist when it comes to owning things and now I feel totally vindicated in this. Though, to be fair, if it weren't for my brother's stuff, the living room would be totally empty, and that would suck.
Now I'm just doing math homework while gorging myself on homemade lasagna and cookies.
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[11 Apr 2008|12:17pm] |
I was driving my car and hit a cop. I didn't realize I'd hit him until a couple blocks later, so I parked my car and checked for damage. There was a little dent. I went back to where the accident occurred and the cop's car was upside down and he was laying on the ground next to it. I thought "Well great, I'm fucked." Then "No. He's going to kill himself and I'll get away." After that thought, the cop took out his gun and shot himself in the head, but didn't die. At that point I knew I was dreaming, so all fear left me. He put that gun down and got out a different one and pointed it at me. I thought "That gun's not even loaded." and he pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. I took the empty gun from him and left him to die.
Later when I didn't know I was dreaming anymore, I was on a train going down the coast of California, heading to Oxnard. It was really stormy and the ocean was rising. It came to a point where water covered the train tracks, and I thought we'd have to stop, but we kept going. Eventually the tracks went down and the train was completely submerged. I was told that the train was water tight and would work fine under water, and it did. We arrived in an underground cave and got out of the train completely dry.
There's something different about me today. I can't put my finger on what it is, but I like it.
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[08 Apr 2008|12:06pm] |
Years ago, I had two roommates who were also my best friends. One was a dude I knew from a class and the other was his girlfriend, a nice girl from Japan. We had a small web design business so before we became roommates, I was still spending eight to ten hours a day with them. We drank a lot of tea throughout each day. One day, my friend went into the kitchen to start a pot and asked "Who wants tea?" Aya was apparently very excited about tea at that moment, so she shot her fist into the air and yelled "DOOOOOOO!" as in "I do." Well we thought that was fucking hilarious, so immediately "Who wants tea?" became "Who's do?"
It only took a couple days for "Who's do?" to become "Who's a douche?" or "Who wants douche?" along with "Who wants milk in their douche?" and other immature things that kept us laughing for months. The real gold didn't come until we moved to Los Angeles. We had a friend there who had helped us get our place. She was this really nice Korean woman in her early forties, and she pretty much had permission to come into our place without knocking whenever we were home. So one morning, when I'd only been awake for about 10 minutes, and was sitting in my pajamas drinking coffee and eating a bagel, this middle aged Korean woman walked in to my place with a smile and, in the most cheerful tone, almost singing, announced "I'm ready for my douche!"
For some reason I thought of that moment today on the bus and I could not stop laughing. There weren't too many people on the bus, but at least one person saw me and probably thought that I was insane. I don't care, though. That was a good memory.
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